Dog whispering is not what you think it is. It’s much more subtle and much deeper than you can ever imagine.
Challenge for the day. Whisper or talk only with your body language and see what happens. You’ll find out how much you chatter to your dog, meaningless words and wonder why she tunes you out. A surprise may be that your dog pays closer attention because she’ll have to rely on your body language (her first language). This is the tip of the iceberg in training. If you aren’t aware of your own body language and energy around dogs you will have very little idea what kind of training your dog needs. Your dog is responding to your body language first, secondarily the words coming out of your mouth.
I love this cartoon because it speaks brilliantly to how we relate to dogs. We are relating to a different species entirely, yet we are relating to them as if they are human. This is why trainers have jobs, people get bitten, dogs don’t pay attention to you, are destructive, play chase when you are trying to call them to you and the list goes on. It’s a total disconnect without this awareness.
Let’s dissect this cartoon. Our friend with the glasses is clearly in a reactive state; pointing fingers, yelling, bending over/leaning forward, big energy. The dog is sitting there trying to figure out what this man is saying. Is this dog just sitting there calmly listening to his owner letting it blow over his head, tuning him out? If you said YES, you are wrong. Everything in this dogs’ body language is saying “I”m stressed” Direct eye contact, alert forward ears, closed mouth, wondering whether to flea or retreat, but by no means calm and relaxed. If the dog did something offensive to the owner, like take a sock or not come when called and this is the reaction of it’s owner, don’t you think the dog may not want to ever come when called or try to make a game out of getting the sock to perhaps change the tone of the owner and get a game of chase going? Dogs do things to engage us and if we don’t know who we are being or how to read a dog’s language, we’ll have little success with a healthy relationship with dogs.
Try using body language, only for 2 hours, while you’re interacting with your dog. If you find yourself in his face to get his attention then you’re a prime example a relationship where your dog who has learned to tune you out.
Pay attention to these things and let us know how you did.
- What is your facial expression when interacting with your dog?
- Is it hard not to talk?
- Do you have big energy?
- Is your energy relaxed and calm?
- Are you reactive?
- What did you notice in your dog?
- Do you use your hands a lot or a little?
- When you ask your dog to do something what is your body doing? What position are you in when asking your dog to COME to you?
- When walking on the leash, how are you holding the leash?
- What do you do when you see a dog approaching while walking on the leash?
- What do you do when you stop to speak to a neighbor?
- What is your dog doing when you stop to speak to a neighbor?
- What else did you observe about using your own body language with your dog?
I have a one year old Labrador in training for a month. He came 3 days ago. He’s not had any training and his a wild and very happy puppy. He’s bouncing off the walls with abandon. My goal is to keep the exuberance but channel it into more acceptable behaviors by teaching manners and getting some appropriate exercise and lots of good rest. He jumps, grabs close, holds my arm, squirms for putting the leash on, is overly playful with my dogs not respecting any of their go away signals, grabs toys out of my hand, pulls on the leash, chews on the leash…. get it?! Completely out of control and a very destructive chewer. So, my plan is to get quiet, be more like a dog. When teaching cues, I’ll whisper them, like in this video. I am using my dogs as teachers is calmness and focus and he’s learning from them. Yes, dogs learn from each other and copy their behaviors and why they can become less anxious or excited if we calm out own energy down. I’m whispering because he’s so excitable and this is helping him. Even my praise is calm and soothing, helping him stay focused on me while seeing my dogs focusing on me. This morning when I was offering treats to all the dogs, he was trying to grab the treats out of my hand while offering to one of my dogs. He was in their faces, each of them and trying to grab them from them out of my hand. This evening, he was much better and more focused.
Dog whispering is simply, connecting with dogs by learning how to read their body language and becoming keenly aware of both of your emotional states. Relying simply on your body language should prompt a whole slew of awarenesses you had no idea about yourself in relating to your dog. This awareness could raise the bar to the connection you have with your dog because you are now actually speaking in a language your dog can understand. It’s not magic, it’s awareness and understanding.
Often I hear people speaking loudly to their dog, ordering commands at them as if they are deaf. Their hearing is far more sensitive than ours, yet many people yell commands to dogs. Once you’ve become more aware of who you’re being, try this. As you begin to speak to your dog, whisper. Literally, whisper the cues/commands, even sentences rather than single commands with and without hand signals and see how much more attentive your dog will be to you. This takes practice. Learning to understand body language, yours and your dogs can be the connection you’ve longed for and will be life changing.
Let me know how it goes.